The Husband Diet: Best bits

 

Here are some of my favourite bits of The Husband Diet – at least those that I can share without spoiling the story…


It was do or die, meaning that if he didn’t do me tonight I’d kill him. He had to make a damn effort- it couldn’t always be me.


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I was an overweight, under-loved wife and mother of two who when at home dressed like Ernie from Sesame Street on her better days.’


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“…I can’t keep lying to you.  Your body’s putting me off.  I begged you to lose weight.  I tried giving you all sorts of signs to make you understand.”

I snorted, too hurt to show it. “You mean being an asshole was a sign?


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“My Dad is a prick”, I read, and then moaned.  I agreed with him fully, of course, but never, ever had I wanted my children to wake up from their innocent childhood and see the truth.”


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…I knew all he wanted was to get into my pants again.  Which earned him oodles of brownie points.”


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